To sum up my endless pain.

"Now, you said you loved me, and you said you loved that other girl too. But how come whenever you get all sad and crap, it's still about Abby?"

"...Because she's the only one that ever loved me back."



I know it sounds rather self-pitying and all that, but I sometimes doubt whether I'll ever find another girl who just... loves me. The girls I've been with, they loved the things I did and the words I said. I'm good at that and I mean every word and gesture. I spend days just thinking of one tiny little thing I can do to make the girl I'm after smile. But I'm always working for their affections, and I only get them insofar as I earn them. They don't even know me. They don't even want to know me. They just want... I don't know what they want. I know what they want to hear. I say it. I know what they want to see. I show it to them. But what they really want? I have no idea. Not me, not when the chips are down. They won't even give me a second thought.

...frick.