shit.

God damn computer decided to pitch a fit and kill the signal to my monitor in the middle of my God-damned Civ IV campaign I'd been playing for like 3 hours. I had just reached the modern age! I was about to take Japan! Fucker!

I should be sleeping, but I'm freaking out. I really, really wish I had someone I could talk to. Like seriously. Nobody wants to hear about anything to do with me joining the Army though because everyone's either pissed off or just sad about it, or rather, mostly just too wrapped up in their own problems to be burdened with mine too. I can't blame them for it, though I am damn sick of people being pissed at me. Fuck you guys. I'm not doing anything wrong for Christ's sake. I happen to fucking believe in serving my country, as insane as that apparently sounds.

I'm just really worried that I'm not gonna make the cut, physically. I wish I had more time... I should've pushed for a later ship date, but I didn't and now I'm stuck and I'm not going to be fucking ready. So fucking short-sighted. Today I couldn't even do TWO sit ups because I was so sore. I don't know what I'm going to do. I'm scared.